Fighting Absolution by McCarthy Kate

Author:McCarthy, Kate [McCarthy, Kate]
Language: eng
Format: azw3
Published: 2019-09-09T16:00:00+00:00

I might have had a bit too much to drink, but I’m not blind. Kyle is not fine. He doesn’t brush my question off with a funny joke or a cheeky smile. Instead, he’s tense and unsteady, and I’ve been so wrapped up in my own grief, I haven’t been there for him at all. Not one little bit.

“Kyle.” A lump of shame lodges in my throat. I’ve been so stupid. So damn stupid. Kyle is just like me. Strong on the outside yet bruised on the inside, where no one can see. Not unless they look deep below the surface, and I’ve barely even looked beyond myself.

“You keep talking like nobody needs you, Little Warrior, but I do. I need you.”

I slide my arms around his middle, sobering a little. Instead of pulling me close, his own arms hang loose by his side. I press the side of my face to his chest. It’s hard and warm, and he smells of motorcycle grease and a little sweat. I don’t care. It’s more comforting than chicken soup on a rainy day. “I’m here.”

He shudders in my hold.

“I’m here, Kyle.”

He pulls me to him, his arms slowly winding their way around me until he’s holding me so tight I can barely breathe. He tucks his chin on the top of my head, his voice gruff. “You leave in two days.” I feel the rumble of his chest against my face as he speaks. It’s oddly soothing.

“I know, but I’m not going anywhere, okay? I might be leaving, but I’m not going anywhere.”

Kyle lifts me until we’re eye level, my legs dangling from the ground. I look at his face as if seeing it for the first time. He looks tired and a little worn at the edges. There are crinkles around his eyes, as if he laughs hard and often. His face is tan, his beard short, and his expression stoic. It’s the face of a man who’s experienced the worst and the best of what the world has thrown at him and come out the other side stronger, still holding on to the belief that happiness exists. That there’s something better out there just waiting for him to reach out and grab it.

“It’s you and me, Little Warrior.” His voice chokes and tears start rolling down my face. My heart aches. It aches for him. It aches for his mother, who will never know the man her boy grew up to be. Someone who’s fighting hard to let go of the hurt, and the loss, hiding the battle inside him like the soldier he was trained to be. “You and me against the world.”

I nod, my hands cupping his soft, bearded jaw. “You and me, Bear.”

He nods in return. “Where do we go from here?”

“Right now?” The thought of going back to Erin’s apartment ties my stomach in a knot. I’m not ready to face them yet. “I don’t know, but I’m not ready to go to sleep, and we’re all out of vodka.

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